If you’re someone that has had a traumatic experience/(s) in the past it can be difficult to manage its reoccurrence when that trauma hasn’t been dealt with.
I was speaking to a lovely friend of mine about the trauma I had gone through and how it had affected my perception of certain aspects of my life and why I deal with the things the way I deal with them.
Trauma is tough, for God's sake, it’s trauma. Re-living bad experiences can leave you unhinged and not knowing how to function through it.
It’s okay to cry and let the feelings run its course but something I’ve always struggled with is dealing with the issue, compartmentalising it and then moving forward with the other things I have to get on with, in my life.
Unfortunately, life moves past whatever you’re going through and speeds off into the abyss leaving you wherever you’re at. It is necessary to understand but hard to understand at the same time *confused and shocked that life doesn’t stop because I do*.
What this lovely friend of mine said to me is that it is necessary to carry on, building resilience and thick skin when it comes to things that stress us out or causes us a lot of pain, especially as young adults, this is so key. Allowing those negative experiences to not let them define us, but rather create within us resilience is probably the best thing as the challenges of life will come, hard.
However, I think it is so necessary though to face whatever it was that caused the pain and get to the root of why whatever it is caused so much pain. This may mean:
-If it is a person or group of people: having that conversation as to why they caused you heartache and being vulnerable in this.
-If it is an experience: facing that experience again, creating a new and better experience based on that negative experience and putting the negative one to bed for good.
It’s far too easy in putting on a front and acting like things are okay or even existing with the burden of trauma. We must deal with it because a lot of the time, it deals with us in the ugliest of ways. It takes time, it’s not easy but actively working towards overcoming the T-word is the step needed in the right direction.
-Lero x